Muddy Shoes
by septasonicxx
Summary: Cloud didn't need his father anyway.


A/N: I'm not quite sure what I think of this yet, because the ending and some other parts feel a bit strange to me, but it's the first time I've been able to write any type of new fanfiction properly since I don't even remember how long.

So here you go, it's a bit of an angsty look at how Cloud lost his father and became the determined boy he was at ShinRa. Possibly a bit AU with some details, but I've tried my best to make it like it really could have happened.

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><p>A crack of thunder burst out across the land as the rain continued to pour down steadily, just a thick sheet of water that made it almost impossible to see. A lone boy stood in the middle of a chocobo field, his hair and clothing drenched and clinging to him as he allowed the weather to engulf him and make everything else cease to exist for the time being.<p>

It was so calming to not have to think. With his eyes closed and water dripping into his ears, the only thing that mattered was the feeling of the rain on his head and shoulders. It was so rhythmic. Like the beat of a drum.

Another crack of thunder sounded and the boy screamed, the sound tearing from his lungs and being washed away almost immediately by nature. His hands were clenched tightly into fists, and no matter how calming the rain was he could not get rid of the pain in his chest. He had stopped thinking, but he could not stop the pain.

He stood there for hours. He didn't care.

When the rain finally eased off and most of the clouds cleared away, leaving only a light drizzle as the sun began to peer through, Cloud opened his eyes and looked around. He had to blink a few times to clear away the rain that had gathered on his eyelids and threatened to slip into his eyes and blind him – although his vision was blurry enough without the help of the rain; he had been crying the whole time the storm was going on.

He was shaking. He only realised this when he took a deep breath and it shuddered through his chest erratically, his small body suddenly giving in to the pressure it felt and trembling forcefully. His legs gave way and he found himself sitting on the wet grass, mud clinging to his trousers as he dug his fists into the ground and closed his eyes again.

Without the sound and feel of the pouring hard rain to distract him any more, he found his thoughts immediately drawn to what he had woken up to that morning, the pain in his chest pounding painfully with every beat of his heart.

His father was gone. Just gone. Where? Why? What had Cloud done wrong? What had he done to deserve such a thing? What had his mother done to deserve so much pain? Her face was in his mind again. Her face full of pain and tears spilling over from her eyes as she shook her head and tried to convince his father to stay.

But the man had left without a backwards glance at either of them, disappearing into the beginning of the storm and taking his truck. Cloud had run after him, slipping past his mother's desperate, outstretched arms and chasing his father for as long as he could before he finally gave up and wandered off the road through the rain. He had come to this chocobo field and just stood there, letting the rain wash over him as the numbness in his chest became raw and aching.

Lifting his hands from the ground, Cloud stared down at the mud that coated his fingers, a few blades of grass also stuck to him. He was filthy, tired, hungry and alone.

His mother. She was alone now too.

With a burst of energy, Cloud pushed himself up from the ground and turned, running back the way he had come. The ground squelched beneath his shoes and he almost fell over a few times as the mud beneath the grass made everything slippery, but he continued on without slowing down.

Now that the rain had eased a few people were emerging from their houses to get on with daily tasks, but Cloud ignored them all as he got closer to the centre of the village. He had to get back to his mother so he could be there for her. She had looked so upset and vulnerable, why had he just left her there?

It didn't matter what he had done. What was important now was that he did reach her and make sure she knew he wasn't going to leave her alone. He would be her support.

When he reached his house, he flung the door open without even knocking, kicking his muddy shoes off and then darting inside to find his mother. His eyes flickered around quickly, and when he saw movement to the side he turned and saw her emerging from her room, a smile on her face as she saw him.

"You'll probably get sick," she said as she walked over to him. "Being out in the rain for so long."

"Mum," Cloud murmured, surprised to see her looking so... normal. Her eyes were slightly red, but other than that she looked just as strong as she always had been. Still smiling at him, she picked at his soaking jacket.

"You should go have a bath and warm yourself up," she told him.

"Are-" Cloud swallowed and hesitated, unsure of whether his question was appropriate considering what had happened. Then he shrugged his concern aside and plunged on anyway. "Are you okay?"

Continuing to smile, Cloud's mother put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently in reassurance.

"I'm always okay," she said softly. "Are you?"

Looking into her eyes and thinking the question over, Cloud nodded. "Yeah, I am." If she could handle this then so could he. And he was actually beginning to think he _was_ okay now, even though everything had happened so quickly and without explanation. He should have known it was coming. There had been signs.

"Good," his mother sighed. "Then go and get yourself cleaned up so that you don't get _too_ sick from the cold."

Cloud gave her a half-smile and began to make his way towards the bathroom before pausing and looking back. She was still watching him and tilted her head curiously, wondering what was on his mind now.

"You... you know I'd never leave you like he did, don't you?" Cloud asked quietly, his eyebrows furrowed as he waited for an answer.

Walking closer to him again, his mother nodded and took both his shoulders in her hands, staring into his eyes.

"Of course I know that," she said firmly. "You are such a good boy, Cloud, don't ever change who you are."

As he left again, entering the bathroom and preparing to clean himself up, Cloud couldn't help but feel that it had been days since his father left. He and his mother would be fine without him, just as they always were. Cloud would prove that he didn't need a father in order for him to turn out alright and maybe Tifa would even be impressed by it all in the end.

Blushing slightly and lowering himself into the bath he had run, Cloud began to ruminate over the idea of going off to ShinRa and becoming a SOLDIER. That, no doubt, would show _everyone_ that he was strong enough to be who he wanted to be without a father guiding him along. Then he'd also be strong enough to protect his mother … and Tifa … if ever she needed it.

Yes, becoming a SOLDIER would be an incredible thing, but for now he needed to clean the mud off his hands and get into some warm clothes so he could then go help his mother around the house.

Training could start right here in Nibelheim.


End file.
